Friday, July 30, 2010

I'm Not Sure I'm Ready

Lately I've been thinking that if I were a Bible publisher, I think I'd put the words "DON'T PANIC" in large, friendly letters on the cover. (1) Submitting to the will of God looks nothing at all like human nature. And sometimes it makes me feel like panicking. Take, for example, the impending departure of my daughter for the other side of the country. I know, I'll probably not get any sympathy from many, like my sister, whose own daughter has lived in India for years. But this will rock my little world. It's always been me and Steph. At least, it seems to me like always. When she was little, I had the overwhelming responsibility of being a single parent. That creates some strong bonding. And then as she grew up, we became fast friends. More bonding. Until now the farthest apart we've ever lived has been 45 minutes. That is soon to become 4.5 hours by plane or 22 hours by car. Gulp!

So, yeah, I feel a bit like panicking. But then I remember that Stephanie has spent a lot of time praying about this. Seeking God's direction. Listening for God's voice. God is in control.

Still, I have moments when I feel like panicking. I want to hold my daughter close, not let her go. But what challenges, growth and riches of experience that God has in store for her would I be robbing her of? What challenges, growth and experiences that God has in store for me would I be cheating myself of? I don't know. And knowing that I don't know excites me to want to be brave, selfless and submitted to God's will rather than my own.

I am thinking on three truths that Derek Prince encourages us to keep in mind when renouncing our own will and embracing the will of God:

First of all, God loves you more than you love yourself.

Second, God understands you better than you understand yourself.

And third, God wants only the best for you.

When you truly yield to God's will, you will discover that it is what the Bible says it is: "good and acceptable and perfect" (Romans 12:2) (2)


[Credits: (1) The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams; (2) Secrets of a Prayer Warrior, Derek Prince]


Valerie said...

that photo's a keeper for sure.

Here's to renewed prayers that we're all reunited in the same area code quickly!

Persuaded said...

OK... sorry to positively pelt you with comments here, but after reading about here on your blog and this post in particular, I think you and I must be long lost twins. Or sumthin.

I simply must add you to the blogroll on my blog, hope ya don't mind♥